Wednesday, May 10, 2006
~ZG is Seriously ILL~ n ZG's Heart, Shattered~
Last glimpse of my empty room... the Mystery hand belongs to siyi~ she helped mi pack quite some stuffs.. THANKS alot =)
Upon reaching home, i ate panadols n took a nap in hope of recovering asap as i was supposed to meet yun.. I waited n waited n waited... it was only until 10pm when i finally receive her sms. Which means we'll only sit n chat @ her void deck.. Things din turn out to be how i dream of leh.. But still, god knows when's the next time i'lll have a chance of seeing her... So, I flew down with my bike...
We chated @ her void deck for a couple of hours... It just feels great to be able to see her again. Her presence enabled mi to totally forget my illness.. And sitting there, reminds mi of the numerous occasions of last time... But somehow, i feel there seems to be a gap now, we seems to have drifted...
I tried but couldn't getta slp when i reached home and phoned yun again. The conversation concluded @ the topic of she n her ex... Her feelings for him is still as strong as ever, n news that he is treating her better now created mix feelings for me. Glad that Yun's happy now but, confirmation from her, i'm nothing more than a fren to her... Anyway, i knew it all along, just that... It's so difficult to let go... n all Hope was lost...
Was supposed to have bike lesson in the afternoon of the following day... But my condition worsened.. I'm having high fever+ flu+cough n feel was so weak to do anything other than lying on the bed, n refreshing in my mind the moments i had with Yun...
Left house in the afternoon not for bike lesson, but went back for the EID poster thingy n pass christine her stuffs @ the same time... N throughout this trip, i was feeling more n more uncomfortable. When i'm home again, i was half dead... i ate pills n went straight to bed again...
I'm having this feeling of emptiness. Accompanied by this freaking illness, I just feel so weak, so incompetent, so lost now... I've no motivation to do anything nor the confidence to do anyway.. Just wish to sleep n drift away from reality~~